(10th production episode, filmed March 18-22, 1963)
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THYNNE: To catch this gorilla, all you need is a collapsible boot repair shop. NEDDI...
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(1,1) Henry & Minnie's living room. Sound of knocking on door, kept up throughout sequence.
(1,2) MINNIE: Ohhh, you've Lost the door again.
(1,3) CRUN: Ah, no. No, I had it out yesterday to let the cat in.
(1,4) MIN & CRUN: Not in there....not up there...
(1,5) MIN: Ohhhh! Here it is Henry - under the elephant skin rug.
(1,6) CRUN: Oh, yes, I put it under there, because of the draught.
(2,1) The Booted Gorilla by Spike Milligan & Eric Sykes
(2,2) NEDDIE: (voice over) In the tree forests of the Congo, our story begins...
NEDDIE: Gad it's hot.
BLOODNOK: Yes, it must be the heat!
(2,3) NEDDIE: (voice over) Our Safari porter pointed a quivering finger at the footprints of a gorilla. Suddenly behind a bush, they had stopped!
(2,4) NEDDIE: Look,...the gorilla's footprints start again - as bootprints!
(2,5) BLOODNOK: If this is true, that animal is worth a furtune!
(2,6) Next stop, London Gorilla Collectors Society.
(3,1) NEDDIE: So, this is the Gorilla Collector's Society.
THYNNE: Yes, Your cage is waiting.
NEDDIE: I'm not a gorilla - I'm Bwana Seagoon.
(3,2) THYNNE: To catch this gorilla, all you need is a collapsible boot repair shop.
NEDDIE: What for?
THYNNE: Dear little round man - that gorilla's boot can't last forever, you know. Eventually the soles will wear out, and then he's bound to look for a boot repairer. Get it?
NEDDIE: Ying tong Iddle I Po!
(3,3) THYNNE: Mm - now who do I know who's a mug?
(3,4) ECCLES: Well, I better go and pack!
(3,5) THYNNE: I'll have that idiot [Seagoon] in a cage, yet!
(3,6) CRUN: I sit and cobble from the break of day. I sit and ---
(4,1) NEDDIE: Good morning, Sir.
CRUN: (not stopping) Cobble all day, and cobble all night, I'm a cobbler day and night. Good morning, I'm a cobbler, you know.
(4,2) NEDDIE: There's a sign outside that says this shop is for sale.
CRUN: Ohhh...yes. The proprietor put that up.
(4,3) NEDDIE: Before you get him,..how much is he asking?
CRUN: I have it on good authority, he wants £50.
NEDDIE: Is that all? (laughs) And I was going to offer him £500!
CRUN: I am him!
NEDDIE: What what what what what what what!
CRUN: Now the price of a sudden is £500.
(4,4) NEDDIE: Curses - you American's drive a hard bargain.
(4,5) MINNIE: Henry, there's no paper in the...Ohhh!
CRUN: This nice hairy gentleman has just bought the shop.
(4,6) NEDDIE: Yes - now, I want you both out of here by tomorrow.
(5,1) MINNIE: Ohhhhhhh! But we go with the shop.
CRUN: Yes, sir. We are included in the price.
(5,2) NEDDIE: I'm sorry - out you go.
(5,3) 2ND NEDDIE WITH METAL HALO: Nooo - wait, Neddie. Have you no heart? This poor old couple turned out of their home in the evening of their lives.
(5,4) BLOODNOK: You have the collapsible boot shop?
NEDDIE: And two collapsible attendants, Mr. Crun and a lady.
(5,5) NEDDIE: Major - may I introduce Miss Bannister.
(5,6) BLOODNOK: What? Is it? Oh, can it be? Oh oh. Yes it is. Minnie Bannister, the darling of Roper's Light Horse, and voted Miss Bowl Curry of 1901.
(6,1) MINNIE: Dennis. Ohhhh. The vapours. Oh, it's dashing Dennis of the Calcutta Mule Followers.
(6,2) BLOODNOK & MINNIE: (sing) Any old Iron...
(6,3) BLUEBOTTLE: ...harm can come to a growing lad.
(6,4) ECCLES: Seen any signs of the booted gorilla?
BLUEBOTTLE: No, and I don't want to.
(6,5) ECCLES: It's a good job I ain't wearing boots, buddy, or sure enough I'd be in that cage now.
(6,6) BLUEBOTTLE: I should have stayed at home by the fire with Ruffles.
ECCLES: Who's Ruffles?
BLUEBOTTLE: That's my pussy cat.
ECCLES: Ohhhh, you've got a pussy cat?...(etc., somewhat more intelligently than usual)
(7,1) Observation post in a jungle tree.
(7,2) CRUN: (phone) Tell me, what's this customer we're expecting look like?
(7,3) NEDDIE: (phone) Well, ah, umm, ah... he'll be wearing a hairy coat. OK?
(7,4) NEDDIE: Eccles, go and take Mr Crun three two-watt light bulbs.
(7,5) BLUEBOTTLE: (gulp, then terrified laugh) Then, who's this what's been sitting on the branch next to me?
(7,6) BLUEBOTTLE: Oh..it's a ahhhhhhhhhhh heeellpp!
(8,1) BLOODNOK: Keep calm lad.
(8,2) NEDDIE: Hhheeeeellllppp!
(8,3) BLUEBOTTLE: Here, you're not my capitain!
(8,4) CRUN: (phone) Mr. Seagoon, I'm speaking from the shop, on the new wooden telephone. The gentleman with the hairy coat is here.
(8,5) A terrible fight breaks out in the shop.
(8,6) MINNIE: I gave him the old one-two, sailor. Yip bom biddle-do!
(9,1) Eccles tied up on floor of shop.
(9,2) Crun running into the jungle, gasping,...
(9,3) ...with the gorilla chasing close behind.
(9,4) CRUN: Heeeellllpppp!!!!
(9,5) GORILLA: Curses - now I'll never get my boots mended.